Ladies and Gentleman: The Ped Egg

If you're like me, you saw the informercials for the Ped Egg months ago and thought, "Fuck me, that is a cheese grater for the foot!"

I stand here before you as a die-hard Ped Egg fan now. And I know others who will stand up on this podium with me and shout to you non-pedeggers: GO. BUY ONE. NOW.

The concept is this: you have a little vessel with a grater-like contraption on one side. You rub it against your dry foot and it *gently* removes any of the calloused skin and collects the shrapnel inside the vessel.

Sounds disgusting. I know. 

But for some reason I bought one. It ended up being the best thing that ever happened to my feet.

The best way I can explain the beauty of the Ped Egg is this:

When you get a professional pedicure, they use a "shaver" to remove the dry skin from your foot. The shaver works beautifully. Your feet are smooth and soft. But your feet are going, "HOLY SHIT. SOMEBODY JUST SLOUGHED OFF A FEW LAYERS OF SKIN. WE NEED TO MAKE MORE DRY SKIN TO PREVENT SUCH AN ATTACK IN THE FUTURE!" It's a great business model. They take it off, your feet make more, you go back again in a month.

Those little pumice stones are supposed to remove dry skin without shaving it off. The problem is that they're worthless and no matter how long you soak your feet and rub the pumice over them, your feet never quite get that baby smooth feeling that they do with a professional pedicure.

The Ped Egg comes in right in the middle: removes ALL of the dry skin, minimum amount of work on your part, and the callouses don't come back because you haven't removed *too much* of your skin. It's a beautiful solution to an oft-not-talked-about problem.

You're welcome.